A recruiting sign beckons you to enter a golden domed structure. You could be a pilot—a brain pilot!

Before you go in, take note of General Knowledge. You’d better pay attention to him. He’s in charge here!

Photo by Chris Bales, 2000

Wonders of Life presented by MetLife

Photo by Chris Bales, 2000

“Now Recruiting”

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

“I Want You”

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Cranium Command entrance inside Wonders of Life

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

General Knowledge

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Brainy

Posters on each side of the entrance advise you, “Use your head. Don’t miss the show that’s on everyone’s mind.” You might have to wait for the pre-show to begin. Enjoy the puzzles and posters.

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Hallway to the pre-show film

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Test your brain

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Clever recruiting posters…

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

…line the hallway

Photo by Allen Huffman, 2006

Pre-show theater

Your first stop is the pre-show theater. The doors close. An animated General Knowledge yells at you as he paces back and forth in front of a slide show:

“All right, you pitiful, soft-bellied sad sacks; eyes front and listen up! I’m your commanding officer, General Knowledge. And it’s my job to turn you mealy-mouthed meatheads into a crack squadron of Cranium Commandos. Your job—if you can cut it—will be to run the most sophisticated information system ever devised, the human brain. You! There in the back! Suck in that gut and wipe that smile off your face! The brain is serious business. Now, listen up, you miserable toads! This is your brain. You will eat with it; sleep with it; you will never leave it! Without you, the brain is nothing. Without your brain, you are nothing! It took three million years of research and development to make this lean, mean thinkin’ machine what it is today. In those years, we had some successes and some failures, and if you meatballs can’t fly right, you’ll wind up piloting one of these. Do I make myself clear?”

As the example of “successes,” General Knowledge shows Albert Einstein; for “failures,” it’s Jim Varney’s character Ernest P. Worrell. And when he talks about “piloting one of these,” he shows a picture of a chicken.

You meet Buzzy. Much to the dismay of General Knowledge, HQ has assigned Buzzy to pilot “the most unstable craft in the fleet”—an adolescent boy.

Photo by Brian Henry, 2006

New recruit Buzzy, the pilot of this brain

You move into the main 200-seat theater. But don’t think of it as a theater.

You’re inside the head of a 12-year-old boy. Buzzy is now Audio-Animatronic. Eye-shaped screens allow you to see what the 12-year-old sees. Celebrity actors play such supporting parts as the left brain, right brain, and stomach. They’re projected on various screens inside this “head.”

Photo by Brian Henry, 2006

Right Brain: “Just look at the way her eyes glisten in that fluorescent tube lighting.”

Buzzy has to deal with getting dressed for school, a full bladder, no time for breakfast, missing the school bus, running to school through backyards, avoiding a poodle, getting to chemistry class just as the bell rings, meeting his cute new lab partner Annie, daydreaming about her, causing an explosion, dealing with bullies, protecting Annie, a food fight, a trip to the principal’s office, and fear of what the consequences might be—all while coordinating the body crew members and their conflicts. After advice from General Knowledge and consultation with the body crew, Buzzy diplomatically tells the truth to the principal.

Everything ends well. Annie agrees to go out after school. There’s even a kiss from Annie.

General Knowledge congratulates Buzzy as a full-fledged member of the Cranium Command!

Photo by Brian Henry, 2006

Buzzy does well!

That was a fun show! It had a humorous script, great casting, terrific animation, a clever main theater space, and a skillful combination of Audio-Animatronics with film.

If you’re familiar with 1980s television, you probably recognized many of the performers—but not all of them. Here’s the cast, in the order of appearance:

Cranium Command opened at EPCOT Center (now Epcot) in October 1989 as part of the new Wonders of Life pavilion, sponsored by Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. (MetLife).

By June 2001, the MetLife logos disappeared from the pavilion. Cranium Command and most of the pavilion’s attractions continued to operate.

In 2004, the Wonders of Life pavilion became seasonal. It would only open during periods when Epcot needed addition guest capacity.

When its doors were locked New Year’s Day 2007, the Wonders of Life—and with it, Cranium Command—became history.

Photo by Werner Weiss, 2013

Seminar at the Epcot International Food & Wine Festival

Wonders of Life became the Festival Center for Epcot’s Food & Wine Festival in fall and for Epcot’s Flower & Garden Festival in spring. The kitchen stage for culinary demos and chef seminars was located about where the cutout of General Knowledge once stood.

Although Cranium Command was gone from the marquee, reports during the Festival Center years suggested that much of Cranium Command still existed backstage. Fans of the show hoped that a new sponsor might restart the show—perhaps funding an update. After all, Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey playing Hans and Franz were ancient history.

In February 2018, Disney announced that Wonders of Life would become the PLAY! pavilion. The concept artwork includes Joy from Inside Out, the wonderful Disney-Pixar movie that takes you inside the mind of Riley, an 11-year-old girl—not Buzzy, a 12-year-old boy.

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Updated January 17, 2021