Pirates and More Pirates IMAGINEERING
Werner Weiss, Curator of Yesterland,
presents more pirate attractions for Disneyland and Walt Disney World

May 24, 2007

Tomorrow is the big day. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End officially opens in movie theaters across the United States and Canada. And Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island debuts at Disneyland.

In all the excitement over the third movie and the update to Disneyland, you may have missed the other pirate attractions opening tomorrow.

Photo of Pirate Overlay
Great Moments With Mr. Sparrow

An incredibly lifelike animatronic Captain Jack Sparrow mumbles incoherently about a variety of subjects in this replacement for Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln.

In spring 2005, for Disneyland’s 50th anniversary celebration, Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln closed to make way for Disneyland: The First 50 Magical Years, a movie starring former Main Street Magic Shop magician Steve Martin. When the celebration ended in late 2006, Mr. Martin remained at the front of the auditorium, while Mr. Lincoln remained locked up out of view. Now, Mr. Sparrow replaces them both.

Does anyone really want Mr. Lincoln back? Disneyland’s senior management team appears to have decided that nobody cares about American history, but that everybody loves Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Jack Sparrow.

Photo of Pirate Overlay
It’s a Small World’s End

As a special 18-month celebration of the theatrical and DVD releases of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the classic “it’s a small world” attraction becomes It’s a Small World’s End.

As you enjoy “the happiest pirate cruise that ever sailed the seven seas,” keep your eyes open for Jack Sparrow, Barbossa, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Davy Jones, Governor Weatherby Swann, Pintel, ‘Bootstrap’ Bill Turner, Tia Dalma, Sao Feng, and Captain Teague—all dancing to the classic “it’s a small world” theme song.

Photo of Pirate Overlay
Tiki Room (Under Pirate Management)

Zazu and Iago have sold the Magic Kingdom’s Enchanted Tiki Room to two different birds, Sparrow Jack and Parrot Pintel. In this updated show, the birds and flowers sing pirate songs and sea shanties.

Anything would be better than Enchanted Tiki Room (Under New Management), which replaced Walt Disney’s Tropical Serenade in 1998.

Photo of Pirate Overlay
Vikings of the Caribbean

In this update to Maelstrom at Epcot’s Norway, you’ll sail with Viking Captain Olav Sparrow, ancient ancestor of Captain Jack Sparrow. Captain Olav decides that the icy waters of Greenland are too cold, so he sails south to become the first European to discover the islands of the Caribbean. Along the way, he battles undead trolls.

In the tradition of how Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros deals with Mexico at Epcot’s Mexico pavilion, you’ll learn nothing about Norway, its culture, or its history.

I think most readers immediately figured out that these pictures are the result of some fun with Adobe Photoshop and that the descriptions are primarily works of fiction.

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Report from Aulani, 2021

© 2007-2021 Werner Weiss — Disclaimers, Copyright, and Trademarks

Updated October 17, 2021

Photograph of Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln: Allen Huffman, 2002. Photoshopped by Werner Weiss using a Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End publicity photo © Disney.
Photograph of “it’s a small world”: Werner Weiss, 2007. Photoshopped by Werner Weiss using an image of a Jack Sparrow toy © Disney.
Photograph of Enchanted Tiki Room (Under New Management) sign: Werner Weiss, 2007. Photoshopped by Werner Weiss.
Photograph of Norway at Epcot: Werner Weiss, 2007. Photoshopped by Werner Weiss using a Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End publicity photo © Disney.